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California Bans Gas-Powered Lawn Mowers, Why Not Ban Grass Instead?

Goodbye gas-powered mowers. Buy why stop there?
Author:
Phooey Just Ban Grass

The LA Times reports California Moves Toward Ban on Gas Lawn Mowers and Leaf Blowers.

California will outlaw the sale of new gas-powered lawn mowers, leaf blowers and chain saws as early as 2024 under a new law signed by Gov. Gavin Newsom on Saturday.

The state has set aside $30 million to help professional landscapers and gardeners make the transition from gas-powered equipment to zero-emission equipment, but an industry representative said that’s woefully inadequate for the estimated 50,000 small businesses that will be affected by the law.

Andrew Bray, vice president of government relations for the National Assn. of Landscape Professionals, said the zero-emission commercial-grade equipment landscapers use is also prohibitively expensive and less efficient than the existing gas-powered lawn mowers, leaf blowers and other small machinery. For example, a gas-powered commercial riding lawn mower costs $7,000 to $11,000, but its zero-emission equivalent costs more than twice that amount, he said.

“These companies are going to have to completely retrofit their entire workshops to be able to handle this massive change in voltage so they’re going to be charged every day,” Bray said.

In that same order, Newsom required all new cars sold to be zero-emission vehicles by 2035 and threw his support behind a ban on the controversial use of hydraulic fracturing by oil companies.

I have a better idea. Ban grass, including grass on golf courses. We need some creative thinking to make that work, but I am sure someone can do it. 

In addition to eliminating mowing, we get to rid of watering too. Is there a California water shortage or not?

But why stop there? 

Fires sparked by downed electrical wires cause wildfires. Dear readers, the solution is obvious!

We need to ban electrical wires.

And if we can just get rid of electricity, there will be no further brownouts. 

If California does all that I am sure it will shave a hundredth of a degree or so off global temperatures. 

Meanwhile, Before the Grass Ban

Commercial cutters may be interested in a Gravely Pro-Turn EV 60” Zero-Turn Electric Mower for only $32,499.95.

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Recharge time is 12 hours. 

Not to worry, just buy more batteries or their supercharger to get a charge in 6 hours, extra of course.

Run time is 5 to 5.5 hours max. Customers in Wisconsin report 4-5 hours, Indiana reports 3-4. 

Better buy lots of batteries. At least 4, maybe 8. It runs on either 2 or 4 batteries and 2 clearly won't do it. For a 10-hour shift four likely won't do it.

Phooey, just ban grass and be done with it.

Sarcasm aside, gas mowers are hardly a problem. Water is.

Thanks For Tuning In!

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